Alumni Interview
Interview with Charolotte Delucia - Class of 2002

What were you doing before you came to Naropa?

Just before I came here, I was being a ski bum in the mountains of Colorado. I was taking time off after college and thinking about what I wanted to do next.

What did you study in college?

I studied English and American literature at Johns Hopkins and then at N.Y.U.

So, what brought you to Naropa?

Towards the end of undergrad, I was feeling really frustrated wondering what’s beyond, or what’s underneath, all of the theoretical deconstruction of literature that I had been doing. I wanted to delve into that place that went beyond words and ideas. I wanted to find a place where I could investigate the academic skepticism I’d felt in my education up to that point. Naropa seemed like the right place for that, and the MA Contemplative Psychotherapy program seemed like a place that would train me how to be helpful in the world.

Have your expectations been met?

Definitely. I’m finding this to be the most challenging education I’ve ever had. Not on an academic level, though. For me the challenge is in looking at those parts of myself that previously I was trying --with all my might-- not to look at. Once I see them, the challenge is in learning to accept them in a non-judgmental way.

How do you think this sort of experience pertains to becoming a psychotherapist?

In this program, we’re challenged to question our assumptions on every level. This is the only way to do good therapy, because it doesn’t work when the therapist goes in as the expert. The contemplative psychotherapist is really there to let the client be the expert. In that sense, contemplative psychotherapy is real client-centered therapy. As a therapist you’re helping people get to know themselves, and you can’t do that unless you’ve gotten to know yourself first.

Can you speak to what’s been difficult for you in going through the program thus far?

I’ve had a lot of aggression come up in response to various aspects of the program. This has been a wonderful opportunity to watch my mind. Without this training, feelings like that probably would have solidified into heavy resentments or problems that I would have carried around. But in this setting, because we take awareness of all the space around and within ourselves, I have the chance to watch these feelings come and go, without having to cook them up into something more painful.

Can you give an example of what you have felt aggression about?

Oh, sure! The community…academics…’the system’…whatever else I could find that it would stick to. That’s what’s so great about this program. Before, I never would have seen aggression as something that my mind actually creates.

Would you speak about your relationship with the dharma that’s taught in this program?

I love the dharma that’s taught in this program and I would love more of it.

Sitting meditation is new for me since I came here. It’s definitely hard work to keep up the discipline, because sometimes I just don’t want to be in my ‘stuff’ anymore than I already am! For one thing, by sitting I keep coming into contact with the ‘production model’ of life that I grew up with.

Can you say more about that?

I grew up thinking that I have to be doing something useful or productive every moment I’m awake or else I’m wasting time. My relationship with sitting has challenged that. I’m beginning to open to new ways of being that I wouldn’t have without the sitting meditation that’s required in this program.

How is dharma study useful to you as a psychotherapist in training?

I find the dharma talks to be the most nurturing aspect of the program. All the emotional delving I’ve been doing since I entered the program is scary. The dharma reminds me of the ‘big picture’ and brings light-heartedness to the process. Without dharma, the work of this program would be way too self-centered. The program presents a balance of going into one’s self and keeping a broader view so that we can be helpful to others.

What else would you like to say to prospective students of this program?

If you want an opportunity to spend a little time with ‘the enemy’–the ugly parts–then this is it. You don’t have to be a practitioner before you come, and you don’t have to want to be a Buddhist, but you do need to be willing to look within yourself and hopefully be willing to befriend what you find there.